Puberty is an exciting time for us moms and our daughters. As moms, it gives us an opportunity to guide our daughters through a challenging time as they encounter physical and emotional changes. But this time can become stressful for us if we are not prepared ourselves. Life won’t become easier for smooth transition to puberty, so the better prepared you are, the more calmly you will be able to help your daughter through the ebb and flow of puberty insha Allah.
You want to make you daughter’s journey through puberty a comfortable one. She will face physical and emotional changes, will have to develop the habit of praying 5 times a day, learn new Islamic rules and follow them while traversing hormonal changes.
Since there is a lot of information to process and a lot of practices to inculcate, simplifying the process will make it easier for both of you. So spare her from a one time information overload and discuss the following topics with your daughter over a few sessions between 6-12 years instead-
- Growth spurt
- Weight and height changes
- Sweating and body odor
- Body hair
- Breast developement
I have talked about helpful resources for discussing puberty here.
You can talk about changes in our bodies in general so she is aware of the concept of changes in her body. You can also talk about growth spurts, growing pain and how to deal with them. Invite your daughter to pray with you if you haven’t started doing so already.
Age 8-10 would be a good time to talk about weight and height changes, sweating, body odor etc. She can start wearing cropped tanks or camisoles to get into the habit of wearing a layer under her clothes. Ask your daughter to pray with you more often so she gets used to praying salah regularly.
You can talk about breast development, body hair, discharge and period when your daughter is between 10-12 years old. You can tell her about the Islamic requirements regarding period, removing body hair and cleanliness in general.
Useful things to have for puberty-
Below is a list of useful items that will help you prepare better for puberty.
The right underwear can make a big difference during hormonal changes. The following items can make things easy for you and your daughter-
Cropped tanks- Cropped tanks are perfect for 8 year olds and up. It gets you in the habit of wearing something under your clothes. These cropped tanks are thinner and shorter than camisoles/regular tanks and don’t make you feel so hot with the extra layer of clothing.
Tanks/ camisoles- Tanks and camisoles are great for girls 10 and up. Look for good quality, thinner cotton tanks/camis with a stretch.
Training bra- These are great for girls 12 and up, look for light weight cotton, thin straps and smooth edges for comfort. I prefer the ones with removable pads to have more options so you can wear them either way, with or without pads.
Sports bra- Sports bras are similar to training bras but they have wider straps. The fabric is great for wicking moisture from your body. These bras are great for active girls or girls who are into sports. These are comfortable for everyday use as well.
When you go bra shopping for your kids, keep comfort in mind. Let her try different style as there is no one size fits all when it comes to these things. Also, do not buy bras that have underwire in them as it is harmful for your body.
However, if you end up with bras that have underwire in them, pull them out through the hole it’s poking through. If you can’t find the hole, just make one with a needle and pull out the wire. Don’t worry, you will still be able to use it without the wire.
Sweating and body odor-
Sweating and body odor can become an issue as girls get older. Here are some ways to minimize body odor and smell nicer-
- Take shower regularly.
- Wear clean clothes
- Air dry clothes instead of dumping them on bed or chair.
- Change underwear regularly
- Use natural deodorant. We like this one, without any SLS, paraben etc-
A pair of rounded tip scissors works best for your starter hair removal kit. Use a calendar or phone to remind her every forty days.
There are a lot of choices when it comes to buying pads for period. You want to use the one that is made without any harmful chemicals or toxic materials. Seventh generation and Natracare are both great brands for pads. Don’t forget to get the winged pads as it will save you from stained clothes and extra laundry and the stress that comes from them.
If you’re concerned about the amount of trash that these products create, you can get reusable pads like these .
Let her know how to use these pads, how often to change and how to discard them. Be patient and give her timely concise reminders.
Drinking a cup of tea made with warm water and 2 tablespoons of blackstrap molasses provides relief for mood swings during period. This drink will do wonders for emotional roller coaster while replenishing your body with much needed vitamins like magnesium, potassium, iron, calcium etc.
Developing a habit to think positively is very important to have a positive outlook. Do not engage in negative talk with your daughter, redirect your focus on the positive for better mental health for yourself and your daughter.
Listening to Quran is great for calming the mind while lifting the spirit.
Useful tips during period-
- Your daughter can keep track of her period with a calendar or phone. A calendar is also helpful to remember when to remove hairs, clip nails etc and manage mood swings as she will learn to anticipate them and will have a better handle on her emotions insha Allah.
- Your daughter’s diet matters when it comes to a calm and peaceful period. You want her to be on a clean and healthy diet, cut back on sugar, caffeine etc and drink plenty of water. Getting enough sleep and taking breaks from activities is imperative to dissipate pms related anxiety and depression.
- Regular exercise is important for physical and emotional well being. Yoga, meditation and breathing exercises will help her to be grounded if she is out of balance during period. Don’t have time to work out? Take a walk around the neighborhood with your daughter for an instant boost to your mood.
- A warm water bottle is great for cramping. Massaging oil on the tummy is soothing for pms pain, use an oil that works for you, like coconut oil, olive oil etc.
- Keep a small trash can in your daughter’s bathroom cabinet to dispose used pads so they are away from others view. Sprinkle baking soda inside the trash can to minimize odor.
I hope this post has been beneficial for you to get ready for your daughter’s puberty journey. Be prepared and have the following items ready before she has her period and knows what to do with them-
- 2 box of winged pads
- 1 box of panty liners
- Extra underwear in her size
- Hot water bottle
- Blackstrap molasses
- Oil for massaging
- A special hijab, prayer mat and prayer beads as gifts
I wish you and your daughter all the best and pray that Allah(swt) makes it easy for both of you.